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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Chaos in Red Sox Nation

There have certainly been better days to be a member of Red Sox Nation. Just weeks after suffering through the most historic collapse in the history of Major League Baseball, the old squad who holds down the Fenway fort has continued to spin through a whirlwind of turmoil, drama, and uncertainty. To be honest, I'm not even sure where to begin when I try to dissect what the hell is going on right now. So I'll just throw down random notes and eat some fried chicken. Beckett, Lackey, Lester -- you guys bring the beers!

Video Games, Fried Chicken, and Beers.
Now that the Sox have epically failed and fallen flat on their face, the true reasons have started to leak out to the media. On their off days, starting pitchers were throwing back brews in the club house, eating fried chicken, and playing XBox instead of staying in the dugout and supporting their team in its effort to win a baseball game. Supposedly these guys started doing that on September 1st, and they went 7-20 in the month as a direct result of that. Their 83-52 start to the season happened because the starting pitchers were supporting their squad in the dugout. It was only once they started eating chicken and drinking beer (oh no -- not in America...) that the team fell flat on its face.

If you can't pick up on my sarcasm, I'm trying to say that all of the media outrage about this is a little blown out of proportion. Do I condone the manager allowing this stuff? Hell no. I posted my gripes with Tito last week. Just scroll down the blog to see it. But is this the reason the Red Sox collapsed? Absolutely not. It's the guys drinking the beer and eating the chicken -- not the beer and the chicken itself -- that is the problem. So enough with all this nonsense. If fried chicken was the biggest problem the Sox had, life would be pretty damn good.

Tito's Marital Problems and Pill-Popping.
Okay, fine. So the beers and the chicken isn't the problem. But look! Tito had marital problems. And all those painkillers did him in. I mean, it's totally understandable. Managers spend time on the road with their teams every season. Same goes for the players, the staff, and everyone else. I get that. Trouble with relationships and marriages isn't all that uncommon with those situations. Travelling and separation can be big problems. Tito battled those problems all season. Hell, he's probably battled those issues as they built up over all the years he's been managing. I know that may be jumping to a conclusion, but here's the bottom line. No one was talking about Tito's marital issues after the Sox beat the Yanks on August 31st to move to 83-52 on the season. Trouble in a marriage has no reason to correlate directly to job performance. It hasn't done so in professional sports very frequently. So spare me that sob story. And as far as the pill-popping goes, I'm not quite sure. Maybe a little more radical drug choice would have amped the skipper up enough to get his players a little excited once in a while.

Theo Bolts Out of Town for Greener Pastures. Or Bluer Ones.
Theo Epstein wanted out of here, and he got his wish. Great job by Sox ownership to fight for the GM to stay. Cubs want him? Oh, alright... I guess you can have him. He hasn't done much for us. Only won us two titles. There are plenty of GMs out there who can bring in the players. I guess we'll just have to find one. Hey, hopefully they will. I'd love to see money-baller Billy Bean come to town or something like that. But really Theo? The Cubs? I know what people are thinking. He reversed our curse. He can reverse theirs. Maybe Tito will even follow him there and recreate the curse-breaking battery. Except here's the thing. Unless Theo plans to general manage until he's 92 years old, he won't be reversing the curse in Chicago. No way, no how. The Cubs are the Cubs and there is no changing that. Good luck, Theo.

Youk is Dating Brady's Sister.
I didn't know Tom Brady had a blind sister. But apparently he does, because she is dating Kevin Youkilis of the Boston Red Sox. Not only is Youk, guided by his US Army Tank, -- I mean, his chin -- the ugliest athlete in Boston, (okay, fine, Chara.) but he, according to all reports, is a complete dickhead and a clubhouse cancer. Wouldn't be surprised if he leaves town with the rest of the brigade this offseason. Which leads me to...

Big Papi Essentially Flips Boston the Bird and Sets Sights on Pinstripes.
You've all probably seen or heard about the interview by now, but David Ortiz basically said he doesn't want to be a part of the Sox "drama" again next season. Simultaneously, he praised the way things are always right in New York, how there is no drama, how it's a great place to play, and ultimately how he will "have to think about" playing there next season. Okay Papi. Do your thing. I don't know what world you're living in, but if you think going to the Yankees in the media hell that New York is will be a hall pass from all this "drama" and that things are always good -- well, you've got another thing coming. But yeah, I suppose things are always good there. They've won like nine titles in the last 10 years. Or one title. Something like that. They made it to the first round this year! Screw Boston... New York is where it's at. Fights with ownership (Jeter), washed up has-beens who think they're still hot (Posada), and early playoff departures (See: Every year except their WS run in '09). Have fun, Papi. You did steroids anyway. *(I have the right to take back all bad talk about Ortiz if he stays in Boston. Otherwise, let's go get Pujols with all that money.)

Who Knows What's Next?
I don't. I don't think anyone does. The first step is to get rid of John Lackey and Jason Varitek. By all reports, they are the guys who formed cliques within the Sox clubhouse more than anyone. Yeah, Beckett and Lester made some questionable character choices, too. But their performances somewhat balanced it out. When your production looks like that of Lackey or Varitek, that type of behavior doesn't cut it. The Sox need change. On that note, Wakefield needs to go, too. I love Wake. He's been an awesome Red Sox player for a long, long, long time. But enough is enough. The guy doesn't have it anymore. I'd love if he hung around as a bench coach or a mentor or a BP pitcher or something. I don't know. But he shouldn't be a regular in the rotation or the bullpen. He's run his course.

There will be plenty of excitement this offseason. A new GM and manager will take the reigns to facilitate the other changes. All I know is that I'm pretty thankful I'm a Boston fan and I can pay attention to the Bruins and the Patriots for the next six months. Because if we were only a baseball town, the winter road to April would be long and chaotic. Hey, Seguin's goal was pretty nice last night. Get ready for the Pats on Sunday.
  

 

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