TOP 10: A list of things that I predict will happen in Game 7

By Matt

10. Instead of the typical pre-game show, the Lakers will switch it up for Game 7. They are going to have an award ceremony, where Ron Artest will get his much deserved award for Best Actor in an NBA series.

9. Kevin Garnett will say the word "fuck" 100 times, an NBA finals record. The fans watching on TV will not be impressed, since the network has decided to just cut the sound off everytime someone swears. And that's gotten really annoying since...well, it's Basketball.

8. Kobe Bryant will take 75 shots and make 17. His 40 point game will be trumped by Nate Robinson's 41 points off the bench. (It wouldn't be the first time).

7. Perkins will warm the bench so well that Scalabrine will be demoted to waterboy.

6. Rasheed Wallace will spit in someone's face and try to say that he didn't do it. The refs will want LA to win so they won't believe him. He'll be demoted to waterboy and Scalabrine will once again be bumped to benchwarmer. In his excitement he'll twitter about it and get suspended for the first game of next season.

5. Paul Pierce will finally get sick of all the shitty calls and swing his fist in anger. It will catch Pau Gasol right in his stupid face and thousands of Celtics fans will cheer as one unified force.

4. Doc Rivers, trying to get the attention of a ref to call a timeout, will jump across the court. An executive for the Knicks will see his "ups" and try to recruit him to play for New York next season. Doc replies by saying he would rather watch the Twilight Saga on repeat for a week and then shoot himself in the face.

3. The Lakers will go down by one early. Jack Nicholson will continue to believe that he knows what all the right calls should be and repeatidly stand up and take a step on to the court as if he's coaching the team. He may remove his glasses and reveal his laser-beam eye power. Or he may just complain the whole time like usual.

2. Ray Allen will miss 10 more three-pointers and people will get so suspicious that they pin him down and take off his mask to reveal none other than Mrs. Allen! Turns out they switched places as soon as the Celtics returned home to play at the Garden last week. The real Ray Allen is enthusiastically cheering in the stands. They switch places and RayRay puts down 5 million free throws in a row.

1. Kobe Bryant will stand in front of the microphone after the game and look out at all the reporters. People will wonder if he's still sweating from the game, or if that's a tear rolling down his cheek. He'll look down at the mic and mutter "the better team won." Meanwhile, Rajon Rondo will be hoisting his MVP trophy to an abandoned Staples Center and KG will once again be on top of the world.