Fight #7: Papi vs LeBron

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The Matchup: David Ortiz vs LeBron James

Size: Big Papi is a big man, standing at 6'4" and weighing 230 lbs. LeBron is a bigger man though, reaching 6'8" and weighing 250 lbs. Advantage LeBron.

Speed: Big Papi isn't exactly known for his speed out there. LeBron is probably the fastest player end-to-end down the court in the league. Or one of them, anyway. Advantage LeBron.

Power: Once again, Big Papi is a tank and I love him. But LeBron really is just a freak of nature. He's incredibly strong. There are only a few guys in this tournament that I would hesitate to pick Ortiz against. LeBron is one of them. Too powerful. Advantage LeBron.

Smarts: Shit, bro. LeBron's got 3 categories to 0 right now. I hate his guts. I hope you realize that if there are two people in this tournament that I can't stand, it's LeBron and Kobe. So forgive me if I just screw them over and make them lose fights that they would win in real life. But this is Ultimate Boston. LeBron can't win an Ultimate Boston cage fight tourney. Anyway, Big Papi is smarter than LeBron because LeBron is a douche bag and nobody likes him. Advantage Ortiz.

Intangibles: It isn't so much that the intangibles work in Papi's favor, but they work against LeBron. Not only is he unable to win a damn ring, but he's a little whining bitch who wants all the attention. Those don't work for you in competition. Advantage Ortiz.

Toughness: What do you do when you face adversity? How do you react? Let's see. When Papi faced troubles from the media this year, how did he respond? Blasting homer after homer. What did LeBron do with adversity in Cleveland in the playoffs against Boston? Cowered in the corner and gave up, then joined a true winner in D-Wade to be the one who wins his ring for him. Tough? Not the word I'm looking for. Give me Papi. Advantage Ortiz.

The Decision: Alot of you will complain that I didn't judge fairly. And I admitted that I would probably not give LeBron a victory. But think about it. I gave LeBron the first three categories, which he deserves. But does he really deserve any of the last three categories? Is he not too full of himself to win anything? I might be biased as a Boston fan, but I'm not alone when I say that everything about LeBron James (other than his basketball ability) is completely and totally despicable. Big Papi has the heart of a champion and has handled adversity like a true champion. Can't say the same for LeBron. Pack your bags. Go back to South Beach with your new friends. David Ortiz stares at LeBron James as he cowers in the corner of the ring and lays down, gives up, and says he wants to do a tag-team fight instead with Brock Lesnar on his team.

Am I a stupid and biased idiot? Would LeBron obviously beat David Ortiz in a fight? Or are you just going to complain and say that these fights would never happen? (As if I'm not aware of that...) Whatever the case, comment and leave your thoughts. Papi marches on to face the winner of Tiger Woods and Pau Gasol. Yikes!