Mr. B's Celtics Progress Report

Wow, it has been a while since I touched anything from the Celtics here at UB. But because the Celtics are halfway through the season, I felt it was necessary to give them a Progress Report so their parents know if they are excelling or slacking. I'm going to have to morph into "Mr. B" for this post, as this is "Mr. B's Celtics Progress Report."

Players will get one of four possible grades: E for exemplary, S for satisfactory, U for unsatisfactory, and I for incomplete, as the student had too many absences to be properly judged.

So enter into Mr. B.'s classroom so we can evaluate the talent. Let's start from the bottom-up, shall we?

Kendrick Perkins: I - We have yet to see Kendrick in class, as he has missed all of his games due to a knee injury sustained in last year's NBA Finals. I am certainly hoping that Kendrick can come back from this injury and return to make up all of his work.

Delonte West: I - Well, Delonte was suspended for 10 days for misbehavior, and is now at home healing a wrist injury. Though he showed signs of getting a good grade, he got injured too early after the suspension, and therefore cannot be graded.

Avery Bradley: I - Hmmm, well you'll have to talk to the D-League teacher to get a proper grasp on Avery's progress, as he is there polishing his skills. We do love his potential, but we aren't grading potential here.

Jermaine O'Neal: U - Jermaine has been good in defense class, but that's when he's healthy. Injuries to his legs have halted his progress this year, and because he has been playing a fair amount of games, he receives a U instead of an I.

Nate Robinson: U - Nate does well in SG lessons, and when Rajon is absent, he excels with the other starters in PG lessons, but cannot adjust to PG lessons while playing with the secondary-unit boys. He needs to study defense and three-point shooting more at home. I implore him to dedicate some times to those subjects he struggles with so he can get up to an S.

Von Wafer: U - Von is continuing to improve this season, but he still has a ways to go. I hope he can shoot a little less and keep up the good work on defense, his best subject.

Luke Harangody: U - In limited minutes this season, Luke has been a pleasure to have on the court. But we feel that he needs to improve so he can get a regular spot in the roatation.

Semih Erden: S - When you get foreign exchange students, you never know what to expect. But Semih has been great to have on the court. Filling in for a hurt Shaquille and always giving his all has lead to him getting an S. He's still adjusting, but we are all impressed at how he has acclimated to the system so far this season.

Marquis Daniels: S - Daniels, unlike a lot of his teammates, has perfect attendance this season, a big step up from last year's spotty attendance record. He is excelling offensively and defensively, and can work with any of the other boys on the team well.

Shaquille O'Neal: S - A recent absence streak is the only real blemish on Shaquille's progress report this year. He is doing all his work by being a body int he paint until Glen or Semih can come in for him, and his shooting percentage is phenomenal, averaging a 67.7.That's pretty much an A on a test!!

Glen Davis: S - Though he doesn't appreciate the other boys calling him "Big Baby," and he tends to be chatty, Glen is doing very well this season. He is thriving off the bench, but needs to improve his starting ability. I suggested flashcards to Glen.

Rajon Rondo: E - Rajon has had some impressive games this season, and he is phenomenal in passing class. Rajon is striving to improve his shooting, and he has the drive to get better at it. Absences have somewhat marred his grade a little, so we are trying to make sure that Rajon gets on the court and stays there for the rest of the season.

Ray Allen: E - Ray is very conscientious and diligent, and his shooting percentage proves that. He is very far along for his age this season, doing better than most of his younger teammates. He does need to get his foul shooting better, as he is under expectations from the line.

Paul Pierce: E - If the season were to end today, Paul would be the salutatorian of the team, posting up amazing field goal and free throw percentages. He is a great example for the younger pupils, and could easily win Student of the Year if he continues to aim for the stars.

Kevin Garnett: E - Kevin is such a joy to have in class. He is the head of the class, even with some absences, as he always completes his make-up work. He hasn't played this well since 2008, when our class took home the NBA title. I hope this is a good sign.

Team Grade: I couldn't be happier with the squad's progression this season, and as a unit they have earned an "E."

I hope you have read this progress report. Please sign and return by Monday, or else there will be some benching going on. I'm Mr. B, and have a lovely day.