Fight #9: Tank vs LT

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The Matchup: Tim Thomas vs LaDainian Tomlinson.

Size: This is one of the more evenly sized matchups. Timmy the Tank stands at 5'11" and weighs 201 lbs. LT stands 5'10" and weighs 220. I guess the 19 pounds is a greater swing than the 1 inch. So the slight edge goes to LT. Advantage LT.

Speed: LT has lost a step, that's for sure. In his prime, I'd give him the speed category every day. But he can't even rush for positive yardage anymore. Meanwhile, Timmy is darting from post to post doing everything he can to keep Tuukka Rask from pooping in his locker as the new starting goalie forever. For this fight, given the stage of LT's career and how big of a pussy he is, I'll go with Thomas. Advantage Tank.

Power: Even though Timmy is a tank, he is a goalie. LT runs into linebackers. He usually gets curb-stomped by those linebackers, but so would Thomas. I guess NFL running backs will usually win the strength battle over NHL goaltenders. Can't deny it. Advantage LT.

Smarts: LT got a tattoo of the Jets on his calf. Advantage Tank.

Intangibles: Hmm. Intangible factors. Well, Timmy's water bottle is always spiked with rum, so he'll be quite tipsy while fighting. Which is probably a good thing, since it brings out the crazy side in him. There are still plenty of intangibles working against LT, too. The fact that he makes empty guarantees and still keeps a huge ego despite a relatively low and diminishing skill set never helps his cause. Timmy knows what's good on most accounts. Advantage Tank.

Toughness: Well, when the Patriots beat LT and his old Chargers in the playoffs, he basically cried and instead of being tough and manning up to the ass-whooping they'd been given, he literally cried and criticized the Pats for dancing on the field. Timmy is a tank, like I said. He's clearly way tougher than LT. LT and Pau Gasol could hang out together for a while. Their softness factors are so similar that they might actually become best friends. Who knows? Advantage Tank.

The Decision: LT has a few pounds on Thomas, but he is washed up and scared. And overconfident. He probably goes into this fight thinking, Hey, I'm facing an NHL goalie. This will be easy. And then he gets a tattoo of himself on himself because he just knows he's going to win. And then Timmy rocks his world. Tim Thomas knocks out LaDainian Tomlinson in the third round.

Is that insane? Would LT mess up the B's backup goalie? Voice your opinion. All I know is that Alex Ovechkin and Adrian Beltre is going to be a matchup of two maniacs that only the best fighter can ultimately win. Who will it be? Find out tomorrow.