Australian Lorikeets Getting Silly 24/7

AOL -- You've heard of getting drunk as a skunk, but what about three 'keets to the wind?

That's no typo. We're talking about the lorikeet, a species of parrot. And in Australia, hundreds of them have reportedly been getting tipsy in the small town of Palmerston.

The brightly colored birds are showing all the symptoms of being blotto bird-style: They lack coordination, they pass out, and then they cower in their cages recovering from their hangovers -- without the benefit of human-style hangover cures such as coffee, menudo or sausage biscuits and gravy.
According to the French news service Agence France-Presse, the aviary intoxication epidemic has local veterinarians, struggling to care for the birds, perplexed.

"They definitely seem like they're drunk," said Lisa Hansen, a veterinary surgeon at the Ark Animal Hospital in Palmerston, near Darwin."They fall out of trees ... and they're not so coordinated as they would normally be. They go to jump and they miss the next perch."

I've never been one to support getting birds as pets. It's like you can't really play with them and all they do is piss you off by chirping and shit late at night. And the only real benefit is getting to look at them. Sitting in their cage nibbling on some bread. But let this be clear -- I so want a lorikeet from Australia. Dudes will get shitty with you on Friday nights. I'm sure it takes less than like a sip to get a lorikeet hammered anyway. So I've been thinking about the possibility of spreading this drunkenness in the bird kingdom to the US. Maybe put a ton of bird paths around full of Bacardi? I mean a bird ways like 4 ounces and is made of feathers. It's the definition of a super lightweight. I think we can pull it off. Man's best friend will soon by the lorikeet.