Fight #5: Kobe vs KG

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The Matchup: Kevin Garnett vs. Kobe Bryant

Size: Kobe Bryant is a big man by your average standards, checking in at 6'6" and weighing 205 lbs. The problem is, Kevin Garnett is a huge man, standing at 6'11" and weighing 253 lbs. Advantage KG.

Speed: Hobbling on that knee for the past two years, KG seems to have lost a step in his agility. Kobe is a guard, KG is a power forward. The quickness is naturally going to favor the guard. It's just the way it is. Kobe's got the speed when it comes to this fight. Advantage Kobe.

Power: The size and the power usually go hand in hand. No different here, especially with such a disparity in size. KG clearly has the power advantage when you consider he's got 5 inches and 50 pounds on Kobe. Pound for pound, it might be Kobe. But overall, it's gotta be Garnett. Advantage KG.

Smarts: Tough one to call. Garnett knows what's good in just about every situation. But I'd be ignorant to say Kobe doesn't. Kobe is a smart player. He has rings on every finger of his shooting hand for a reason. He just seems to have a knack for knowing the right move at the right time. Advantage Kobe.

Intangibles: KG is a crazy bastard. If you have watched the Celtics for the past three years, you know that KG has plenty of intangible things about him that would scare the shit out of you in the octagon. So he makes a formidable case here. But Kobe's intangibles might be a bit higher. His clutch factor is unlike anyone we've seen in generations since Jordan. The winning experience outmeasures that of KG. He just is a proven clutch performer, and that bodes well for his intangible category. Advantage Kobe.

Toughness: Kobe's a hell of a player. And he's a warrior. As much as I hate him, I have to give him that. But fuck it. My Boston bias might interfere, but I can't give the rapist the toughness category over the man who changed the face of the Boston Celtics franchise. I've seen KG pound his head off the base of the hoop before home games, I've seen him battle treacherous knee injuries and face the critics who deemed him washed up. I've seen it all and I've seen him persevere. And when I think about KG, punching himself in the chest after an and-1, screaming and wailing and really being a scary human being, I can't say he's easy to knock out. I gotta give it to him. Advantage KG.

The Decision: We've got ourselves a 3-3 tie here. While you were reading that, you may have thought Kobe was going to win this thing for a second. I said I was going to leave my Boston bias at home for this tournament. Cut me some slack. Kobe fucking Bryant is the one player in this tourney that I will allow my bias to intervene a little bit for. He raped someone (Big Ben isn't facing a Boston athlete, otherwise it would intervene there too). I can't let him win. But to be honest, even from an unbiased standpoint, I don't think he would. KG has too much size on him and is too crazy a person. So you can call it me being a Boston douche bag or me being an impartial analyst. Whatever you make of it, I'm taking Garnett. KG knocks out Kobe Bryant in the third and final round.

Are you with me on this one, or do you think Kobe would take down KG? Leave your thoughts. Regardless of what you think, I've sent KG to the next round. Will he face his teammate Nate Robinson? Or will Rafael Nadal bring down Donkey? Find out tomorrow, bitches!