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The Matchup: Tiger Woods vs Pau Gasol
Size: Tiger Woods is solid and compacted, standing at 6'1" and weighing 185 lbs. Pau Gasol toasts him in the size category, towering at 7'0" and weighing 250 lbs. Advantage Pau.
Speed: Well, I've never really seen Tiger in an agility drill or anything like that; he plays golf. But he fled from his car pretty damn quick after crashing into that telephone poll or tree or whatever it was. And he seems athletic. And Pau is kind of clumsy and slow and ugly. Advantage Tiger.
Power: Would it be crazy to give Tiger the power category when he's giving up 11 inches and 65 pounds to Gasol? I don't know, man. Tiger is pretty ripped, and every pound of his frame is muscle. Pau is kind of a pussy and is only 250 because he is 7 feet tall. He comes across as pretty soft to me on the court.... imagine in the octagon? Call me crazy, but Tiger would win in an arm wrestle or a punch-for-punch shootout. Advantage Tiger.
Smarts: Tiger reads greens like no ones business, and he is clearly a marketing genius with all those endorsements. But he royally screwed up with his family, and he had his worst round ever pretty recently. As much as I hate Pau, he's a fundamentally sound player and that's what makes him so good. He's soft as hell and whines like a bitch, but he knows his shit. Can't go denying everything good about the opposition. Advantage Pau.
Intangibles: Sometimes, intangibles and toughness will factor into each other. Like toughness is kind of considered an intangible factor. Usually I can distinguish. This time I can't, really. Pau's lack of toughness just overwhelms everything else. Pau won't be able to flop and scream and cry and force referees' hands in an ultimate fight. Tiger doesn't rely on those things to win. Tiger's been winning on his own, fair and square, for a long time. Advantage Tiger.
Toughness: Come on. It's just like a commonly known thing that Pau Gasol is a pussy. He's good at basketball, but he's such a pussy about it. He couldn't fight a grasshopper if it was holding his family hostage. He's just as soft as they get in the world of pro sports. Tiger battled through torn ligaments in his knee in 2008 to win the US Open in super-dramatic fashion. He displayed more toughness in that round of golf than Pau will in his entire life. Advantage Tiger.
The Decision: Damn, dude... I mean, Tiger's giving up 11 inches and 65 pounds to this guy. But I guess if I entered the octagon with an 8-foot, 295-pound scarecrow, I could probably beat the tar out of him. So size isn't everything in cage fights. And size is just about all Pau has. Tiger is a pretty jacked guy. Seems athletic. Has plenty of vengeance to strike down with. I'm taking Tiger. Not solely because I hate the Lakers. Because I really think Gasol is too big of a pussy to win an ultimate cage fight. Just my opinion. Tiger Woods knocks out Pau Gasol 17 seconds into the first round.
Do you think I'm foolish? Would Gasol obviously beat the much smaller fighter? Voice your opinion on here. Either way it's Tiger moving on. He'll square off with Big Papi in the second round. That will be a great matchup. Speaking of great matchups, tomorrow we've got Tim Thomas vs LaDainian Tomlinson. Hell yea!
DRob....yikes, lol. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't disagree with you once in a while. Tiger had knee surgery, Pau runs up and down a basketball court. Advantage Llama. Tiger does read greens like nobodies business, and then also reads the rest of an 18 hole course for more than a couple of hours. He's gotta factor in wind, green patterns, time of day for speed of a green, and then he's gotta hit a golf ball and try to land it as close to the pin as possible hundreds of yards away. Pau, well, you tell Pau to stand under a hoop, receive pass, put ball in hoop. I give Tiger smarts, even though he cheated on his wife and can't read a roadway. It's a close fight, it may take a few rounds, but I will agree that Tiger may come up with a surprise decision when the dust settles, as long as Pau doesn't spit at him.
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